For many of us, hearing the voice of God can be so subtle that we often question if we heard Him correctly and even doubt if we heard Him at all. I often fall into this category and let doubts prohibit me from taking action. Recently I had two encounters where I heard the voice of God loud and clear, so clear that I knew I had no other option than to follow His leading.
It’s a scary thing to have the Spirit of God working within you. When you are actively hearing the Spirit, you will end up doing things you never, ever thought you would do. Living in the Spirit, being filled with the Spirit and dying to self can be a very frightening thing and damaging to your ego. Believe me – I know from experience!
So, let me share with you two recent experiences…
The first encounter was when I was shopping with my brother and his wife at Wal-Mart. I was in line at the checkout counter and the lady in front of me (along with her daughter and mother) went to pay for her items and found that her pre-paid credit card did not have enough money to cover the items she was trying to purchase. I watched as she pulled items out of bags and asked the clerk to remove them from her bill. She swiped the card again and was denied. She did this four times, and each time she was denied the funds. For me the saddest part was to watch her pull out shoes that were intended for her daughter and ask for them to be removed from the bill. After being denied the fourth time, she asked the clerk to put the items aside so she could call the bank.
It was at that moment in time that I clearly heard the Lord say “Pay her bill.” I immediately began to resist and started arguing with God in my mind. "Oh, no, God, no – You really don’t want me to do that, do you? I don’t want to embarrass her in front of the clerk, her mother and her daughter. And anyway, the clerk is already removing the items from the counter. You seriously must be asking me to do something else.” Then I heard it... "I want you to pay her bill and pay it in full.” My heart started to race, I had butterflies in my stomach and my hands got cold and clammy. I even started to sweat. I had this intense almost out of body experience that totally scared me. I said “Oh no Lord, you can’t be asking me to do that! Her bill is over a $250 and I don’t have that kind of money! Again, I heard, “Pay her bill and pay it in full.” Although I was still fighting with God in my spirit, I leaned over the counter and whispered (yes whispered) to the clerk “Please go ahead and ring up her bill. I will pay for it.” The clerk looked at me in shock and said quite loudly “Are you sure? You’re CRAZY! YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT!” “Yes, I know I am crazy. But I’m sure.” I whispered back. “ALL OF IT?” she asked in a loud voice. “Yes – All of it.” I whispered back.
The customer was still on her phone with the bank so as I left, I got her attention, handed her the bags and said “Your items are paid in full. It’s a gift from God.” She stood there in shock and started to cry. In that brief moment, I just wanted to disappear as quickly as possible so I grabbed my brother (who was still trying to figure out what took place and why I was acting so strange) and ran towards the door. As I got in the car, my heart was still racing, my hands were shaking, my hair matted from sweat and those butterflies were now birds flapping inside my stomach. I have heard the Lord voice before but never have I had something so strong and intense like this before. I couldn't shack the intense feelings going on inside of me. I was still trying to figure out what just took place and why I was acting so strange and as I drove away, I thought “Only God knows why and the significance behind it… I don’t need to try to figure it out."
The second encounter has a bit of a twist to it and I am still working through this one with the Lord. I will keep the details somewhat vague but I clearly heard the Lord telling me to cover the deposit for two young ladies going on a mission trip. Again I heard the Lord calling me to do something that would seem somewhat crazy to those around me but this time I didn’t want to argue with Him over the details. I know this may sound wild but for a few minutes when I heard His voice, I felt a portion of God’s love dwelling inside of me. It was like I felt the Spirit of God overtaken my heart and the emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God's. At the same time that I felt the Spirit’s prompting, a friend leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I know what you want to do, and I want to join you.” My first reaction - I was shocked that someone could know me so well that they could see/hear the Lord prompting within me even when I was still trying to determine if I heard the voice of God correctly myself. My second reaction – I was excited because this person didn’t think I was crazy and was willing to share in this moment with me. I got excited about the idea. In my mind, this was terrific on several counts… I could share this experience with someone plus I could also share the burden of the expense too. Not bad. Not bad at all! I would covered one person’s deposit and leave the other deposit for my friend to cover.
So… I bet you already know where God is going with me on this one, right?!
Over the past few days I have realized that although I did respond to God’s voice, I did not fully follow through with exactly what He was asking me to do. I am learned a hard lesson on the importance of fully obeyig God's voice. Let’s just say my ego has been readjusted and after much external frustration and confusion and my own internal struggle, I ended up doing exactly what God had asked me to do.
King Saul comes to my mind. He disobeyed God by failing to completely destroy the Amalekites and all their possessions, as God had commanded. As a result God withdrew his favor from Saul and had Samuel the prophet anoint David as king. The last thing I want is to loose God's favor.
Hearing the voice of God is important but fully being compliant to His voice is the key to truly following hard after Him.
Hearing the voice of God is important but fully being compliant to His voice is the key to truly following hard after Him.
I wonder how many opportunities just like these two I've missed along the way... all because I didn't want people to think I was strange or I because I worried too much about those around me and as a result didn’t fully following the voice of God?
