Two Years and Two Months...

Two years and two months… So many things have happen and yet so many things have stayed the same.

I am a changed person because of the loss of my mom… and yet I feel the same as I did two years ago. I hate that time keeps ticking by.  The first New Year's Eve without my mom was difficult.  As we counted down the seconds to bring in the New Year, I had a rush of emotions.  I did not want to enter a year without her in it. Up until she entered heaven, I never knew a day without her in it. It truly is a huge loss for me... I think of my mom every single day and I deeply miss our daily talks. Oh how I wish I could have one more moment with her.

But change is a part of life and my longings for my mom only makes me long for God and heaven even more. How much more must God long for us!


I am so glad my mom and I were more than just a mother and daughter.  We talked almost every day and even skyped each other when she lived in the Philippines.  I could share with her anything - all of my life challenges and struggles but like a typical daughter, I even caused her some pain as well.  We did several Beth Moore bible studies together and she was my biggest prayer warrior.  We were friends and I truly feel blessed beyond all measure that God gave me her. I still want to pick up the phone to call her and I still get that pain in my heart when I realize she won’t be on the other end of the line. I have so many things to be thankful for. Our 45 minute “goodbye” talk still lives on inside of me. I am thankful that she was able to share her heart, her wisdom and her guidance with me. I will take that conversation plus the thousands of other ones with me for the rest of my life. I am so thankful for the godly example of a wife, mother and friend. I am constantly reminded of her faithfulness and thank God for the great example of strong and abiding faith in the One who held her life in the palm of His hand.

I had a beautiful encounter a few weeks back of mist rising off Pinewood Lake.  (The photo attached is not the actual situation...) The mist was in little pockets all over the lake. As I watched, the wind blew and the little pockets of mist moved rapidly in one direction. In that split moment of time, God gave me two verses. The first was James 4:14 “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” As I watched those pockets of mist quickly move with the wind, I thought “There goes my mom… There goes Kim… And Aunt Maggie, Aunt Annie, Aunt Nancy and all the others that have gone before me. The second verse that came to mind was Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” I truly am surrounded by a GREAT cloud of witnesses.

Those longings for my mom only makes me long for God and heaven even more. Romans 8:24-25 "For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” My hope grows more and more as each day passes. I long for heaven. I long for my bridegroom. I truly long for what I do not yet have. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

My hope grows more and more as I learn to patiently wait for what I do not yet have.

My dad just sent me the photo of my mom and in so many ways I love it because the photo does not show her beautiful face. My mom has gone ahead of me and her face now shines in the light of His Glory.

Mom - I miss you. I love you. Until I see you again…