Last year my father sent out an email to my siblings saying the family dollhouse was up for grabs. I was the first to respond to him saying I wanted it but then realized just how big the dollhouse was and decided against it. I called my dad back and before I could say anything, he told me the dollhouse was going to my sister. She got wind of it and had reached out directly to my cousin and asked for it. I was told that my sibling said it was a family heirloom and needed to stay in the family. If I’m honest, that comment hurt. Specifically, the word “in” but here is what I learned. You can’t change people or their view on life. You can only change yours.
When I was in college, I had mapped out what my life was going to look like. I wanted to get married by 24 to a godly man that I could co-minister with. We would buy a house by the age 26 and start having a family by the age of 28. In a nutshell, that was my dream…
I had mapped out a version of what a life should look like. When it never happened, there was a real deep disappointment. You see, I grew up in a Christian community where getting married, being a stay-at-home mom or even just being a mom was highly valued. It was the goal in life and was a silent expectation. If it didn’t happen, something was wrong with you.
I remember many a Mother's Day feeling the crushing weight of not having a family of my own. God never gave me marriage in my 20s, 30s, or even 40s. I have never had biological children.
I did the hard work though. In my early 30s, I realized that I had planned out my life according to what I wanted and not what God wanted.
But God…
The one who knows me.
The one who formed me.
The one who wants me to flourish in this life.
The one who doesn’t withhold anything good from me.
He had a different plan that was actually better than anything I could have imagined. Yes, I went through the really hard process of dying to my mapped-out dreams and I embraced the path He had for me. He had other gifts and other opportunities for my life to behold that were just as beautiful and fulfilling.
Through the years, I have had the blessing of being a spiritual mother to many young ladies in their pursuit of God. I’ve been an adoptive Aunt Pammie to many of my friends' children as well.
I got married to a great godly man when I was 50 years old. He was a widower with four adult children. I was adopted into his family, and we now have seven absolutely amazing grandchildren. I am so thankful that family is so much more than shared genes.
There are families out there that need adoptive Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, Sisters, Mothers, Fathers and yes even Grandparents. When I think of family heirlooms and what gets passed down from one generation to another. The heirloom that matters most is the family of God. The family that is tied together by unconditional love of Jesus Christ and being adopted into his family. So, I will continue to raise my hand and say, “Pick me Lord, I'd like to be their adoptive mom, sister, aunt etc.”
My newest and most cherished title came from my granddaughter…
Grammie Pammie.
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