My rhema word... "My heart is at home!"

Several years ago, I heard the Lord speak, not in an audible voice but an internal assurance that my heart was “at home” with a young lady at my church.  Each time I was in her presence, I would walk away with the sense that my heart was “at home” with her.  The impression was placed on my heart and lasted for months.  I tried to figure it out but had no conclusion at the time as to what it meant.  I mentioned it to her and she said she also didn’t know what it meant but loved the idea.  I mentioned it to another friend who in return told me the young lady I was referring to had recently lost her mom so at the time I thought maybe it had to do with the deep and painful loss of our moms however I wasn’t sure.  I won’t get into all the details in this post however as a result of a lot of crazy God moments, I ended up married her dad in 2018.

Continuing to staying away from the details, the last few years my relationship with her has been nonexistent. In many ways, I really don't matter to her. She doesn't acknowledge me as part of her family. I simply don't exists in her world. She has felt betrayed by me and I have been wounded by her words and actions however through it all, I have longed for connection and healing. 

Saturday, November 9, 2019 I went to a women’s conference.  At the conference, Havilah Cunnington spoke on warfare and the need to have a rhema word.  Rhema literally means an "utterance" or "thing said" in Greek. It is a word that signifies the action of utterance. She challenged us to be in the word of God daily however when the enemy comes to steal and destroy, we need a rhema word to fight with.  

According to the Strong's Concordance (#G4487), Rhema means an utterance (individually, collectively or specifically) on a particular matter or topic. Thayer's Greek Definitions defines the word as something that has been uttered, in either the past or the present, by a living entity.The first time Rhema is used in the New Testament is during Jesus' forty-day temptation by Satan. Jesus, after being tempted to feed himself through a miracle after fasting for a long period, responds with the following.  But He (Jesus) answered and said, "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word (Rhema) that proceeds out of the mouth of God.'" (Matthew 4:4, HBFV)   

Let me explain, Havilah used the analogy of how a man in biblical times would train for battle.  The worrier would daily train by using an extra-long, extra-heavy sword and would practice swinging with the sword to build up strength and endurance.  Havilah said that is the same as reading the bible daily.  We need to be in the Word so that we know what God’s truth says – being in God’s word builds up our spiritual strength and endurance.  However, when the same man went into battle, he didn’t carry that extra-long, extra heavy sword but instead he carried a lighter, shorter and sharper sword.  Why?  In battle, the warrior wasn’t out to cut the enemy.  The warrior was out to pierce and kill the enemy with one stab.  The same is true with a rhema word.  When satin tries to speak lies into our lives, we need to have a rhema word (utterance/thing said) to kill and destroy those lies.

At the end of the session, Havilah asked that we spend a few moments in silence asking God to give us a rhema word for the trial or situation we find ourselves in.  She gave examples like “I am chosen.”  “I am forgiven.”  “I am a child of God.” Etc.

I sat there and waited for a few moments but didn’t receive a word from the Lord.  Then an amazing image cross my mind.  In the vision, I saw myself sitting in a chair and the young lady I mentioned earlier (my husband's daughter) came and knelt beside me as a form of greeting.  In the vision, I was so please to see her, I immediately put my arms around her and embraced her.  When I did, she started to cry and I cried as well.  No words were exchanged but there was a warmth in the embrace and the vision left me feeling a sense of warmth and hope throughout my whole body.  The warmth washed over me in an amazing way. At the same time this happen, Havilah said, “For some of you God will give you a word, for others it may be a vision.”  It was then that I heard the Lord’s say, “Have I not told you… your heart is at home with her.”  When I opened my eyes to look at Havilah, she was standing at a spot on the stage where my husband’s daughter (who was playing the keyboard) was directly behind Havilah’s left shoulder.  There was no way not to see her.  I sat there in ah of how God speaks into my life. He gave me assurance that he is at work and I just need to claim his promises!!!  God is for me, who can be against me!

At the end of the conference, I walked away with the sense that no matter what takes place - in the long run - God’s got a plan and that I need to have hope while waiting.  God gave me a word.  A promise.  As I wait for that promise to unfold, I need to live within my Rhema word that “My heart is at home.”