Marriage

Several of my friends have recently asked me to honestly tell them how I’m doing being married. How am I adjusting since I was single for most of my life.  I’m only sharing this because I’ve been encouraged to do so. Here goes...

Marriage is amazing!!! Being married to Jeff... I truly don’t have words. He is Christ in human form to me. No, I’m not just seeing things with rose colored glasses. It’s true.

There are a lot of great godly men out there. The church hopefully is full of them but in many cases there’s truly only a handful. Jeff is far grander then what people see of him on an average Sunday mornings. I have one of those extremely rare men who truly displays the fruit of the spirit in all areas of his life. It’s amazing to not only see but receive those fruits daily.

When you marry young, you walk through each others sanctification processes. That’s an amazing process to be apart of. There are such sweet rewards in walking a life time with someone. Because I married late in life, both Jeff and I had already gone through a lot of that sanctification process separately. Don’t misunderstand me, we definitely are not finished and our marriage is not perfect. But we bring to our marriage an image of Christ that’s is (struggling for the right word here) more formed... more transformed...I'll give you a few examples.

Jeff has not once gotten angry with me or me with him. Not once have we been impatient with each other. To me that’s absolutely crazy but it’s true. I can hear the synic say "give it time."  My response, "We will see..."  Here's why.  If we don’t understand each other, we just graciously talk it out. I haven’t had my feelings hurt by him.  Why?  Because I know Jeff's heart and I understand his motives.  They are pure and sacrificial.  I believe the best in him. He does the same to me.  I also think we don’t sweat the small stuff.  Jeffsees my “weaknesses” but doesn’t see them as “weaknesses.” In ways that one can get irritated with another, he doesn’t.  He also doesn't put his expectations on me nor do I put mine on him,  He doesn’t see the things I do with critical/negative eyes. I pray I do the same for him.

Here is another example I have seen others fall into that I pray I will always be sensitive towards. Some would see Jeff's stacks of folders and papers around the house as "clutter".  I pray I will always see beyond the so called "clutter" and see/appreciate the way God created Jeff.  Jeff is brilliant and he processes things by creating lists.  When studying for a sermon or a bible study, he makes lists/notes and has folders by subject for each of the various topics.  Could I get upset with the "mess" around the house? I guess I could but I honestly don't.  Why?  I think it's because I know and understand what he needs to do to process the task in front of him.  When he is done with the task, the notes and/or piles get filed away.

Here is another example... Jeff sees me as fearfully and wonderfully made. He sees how God has created me and rejoices in it. Could I be smarter? Could I be more academically compatible with regards to his brilliance? Sure! Could I be less emotional? 100%!!!! Should I and could I be skinner? Definitely!

Jeff wants me healthy (spiritually, emotionally and physically) but he loves and rejoices in the body, mind, and soul God gave me. I pray I do the same to him.

For those that know me well, you know that God gave me whales on my 40th Birthday while surrounded by some of my dearest friends. For me those whales were an expression of my heavenly bridegroom loving his bride. Me!  God used His creation to speak His truths into my life. His Glory was on display.

During my 50th year, God gave me Jeff. Jeff is a more glorified expression of my heavenly bridegroom’s love for his bride. ME!!! God is now using human form to speak His truths into my life. It daily takes my breath away. It truly does.

I have “baggage” from my sanctification process. Jeff does too. But our marriage doesn’t seem to carry “baggage” from the years of sanctification. Instead it seems to carry the fruit produced from the sanctification process. For me, we are in many cases on the other side of it all and our marriage truly is the gospel message in human form. God’s mercy and grace. God’s patience and kindness.  God's peace, His gentleness and His joy!

Is our marriage perfect?  No, but it’s amazingly sweet and I see with my earthly eyes Christ walking here on earth through my husband.