An intruder in the house...

It was a Sunday night, and I was leaving Jeff's house to head home for the evening.  Jeff was also heading out to lock up the church for the night. As I came down the stairs and crossed the mud room to exit thru his garage, I smelled something nasty coming from his pantry. As I turned to look back, I said, "We really should pull out all the food in that pantry in order to find out what is causing that smell!"  As I looked over my shoulder, I saw a big brown plop of something on the pantry floor. "Jeff!!! What is that?!!!!  That looks like poop!  Oh, my goodness!   That IS POOP!!!!" I said. 

Jeff took a quick glanced at what I was referring to and immediately went into protective mode. In order to keep me safe from what caused the mess, he ushered me out of the house. As we stood in the driveway, I eagerly said "Something's in there!  Whatever it is, it is very sick and most likely has rabies. What are you gong to do?!  I strongly suggested that he not stay at the house that night... not until we figure out what to do.  He said he didn't know yet what he'd do but that he'd think about it as he ran over to check on the church. 

When I got home, I sent a text begging him to stay at my place and suggested that he sleep on my couch. I again stated that there was a lot of poop and whatever caused it had to be very sick. I was anxious that he'd get hurt. 

I didn't hear from him for about an hour. When he did respond, he sent me several photos. The photos showed flour sprinkled on the floor of every door in the basement - the idea was to show the tracks of the intruder. His text message said that by morning he'd know where it was coming into the house from. He went to sleep with the door to the upstairs closed and brought a large wooden stick and medal rod into his bedroom. I was anxious but thankful he was being cautious. 

The next morning I got a text from him that said "No tracks yet. I think I'll borrow Timber (His daughter's dog) after work tonight if I get home and there's tracks in the flour."

Monday evening I went out with a friend for dinner. While I was out, I got a text from Jeff saying "Wait until you hear my pantry theory."  That text triggered me into showing my friend the photos and she confirmed that it didn't look good at all. 

When I got to Jeff's house that evening, he was waiting for me by the garage door. He showed me his stick and rod and the walked me into the mud room. I asked if there were tracks and he said,"No." I said "Whatever it is must be gone now or dead." I stood behind him as he walked up to the pantry. He said "Let me show you something. Look..." I was anxious and said "What is it?  What is it!"  He said "Look". I said, "It's poop!"  He said "Look pass it. What do you see?"  So I took my eyes off of the mess on the floor and I looked passed it. What I saw was a extra large (Costco size) can of green beans. As I focused on it, it looked like it fell and as a result exploded. There were spoiled green beans every where. Then I looked closer to the "poop". What looked like poop and smelled like poop was actually rotten green beans!  We both started laughing and I let out a breath of relief. 

Based on my quick conclusion Sunday night both Jeff and I responded in a protective, cautious manner.  Our thoughts and actions were based on MY conclusion that there was "poop" and as a result there was an intruder. My conclusion triggered not only my behavior but Jeff's behavior as well. Both of our behaviors were based on my confidence that there was an intruder in the house. 

Side note...  I am marrying a man who lost his wife to cancer three years ago. His adult children are struggling with the idea of someone new coming into the family.  Totally understandable. To be honest, it's been a bit of a rocky road... some have kept me at arm's length away. A narrative was created.  There have been comments, acquisition and ultimatums made based on fear of how things will change. These fears were shared with others including people in my church community and in many cases, actions were taken to protect not just family but others from any potential "harm" my presence may cause. I could no longer serve because I couldn't be trusted because of the threat my presence was creating.

So here's what I heard the Lord say...

I'm that can of green beans but what others "see" is poop.  Actions, reactions and conclusions were caused by a perception of "seeing and smelling poop" and therefore responding as though there is an intruder in their life. The narrative (the false conclusion) was shared with others (including leaders that I work with at church), and actions have been put into place to protect her/them against the harm of the false intruder - me. 

Shortly before the green bean incident accused, a family member tried to convince a close family friend to see me as an "intruder". The family friend started to agree with the conclusion but after leaving was able to say "No... that's not what I see. No... that's not what I think. No... that's not how I feel."  She was able to realize that she could love and mourn the death of her dear friend & mentor and at the same time love and except a new family member as well. She was able to say "No, Pam is not an intruder."  Why? Because she didn't see poop. She was able to look beyond what was right in front of her. She was able to focus beyond it the situation and see God in it. Since then, I have had 6 of the inner circle leadership from the church approach me to say they did not agree with the narrative that was being communicated.  They didn't see me as untrustworthy and a threat.  I was told that the person just wasn't capable, they didn't have it in them to change the false narrative they believed.  Numerous individuals encouraged to stop looking for approval and acceptance.  

I love how God works!  I love how He speaks and reveals His truths to me!  The can of green beans was an amazing example and helped me see beyond the situation to the heart of what is really going on.

It's interesting to take a step back and look at it from a broader perspective.  Communication exposes what is really going on inside one's heart. "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." It is easy to see the negative and to avoid something that you think is hard and dangerous.  If your heart is governed by fear, then you are going to live out that fear in your life. If you believe the narrative that "It is too hard, too painful" then it will consume your thoughts and actions. You'll go into protective mode. You'll shut down and avoid the potential harm. You'll also influence those around you to do the same. In protective mode you have the potential of avoiding the truth. When you don't face your fears, you don't have the ability to face the truth and you end up communicating false fear, confusion and inaccurate information to others. When wrong thoughts captivate your mind, fear cripples you and you are not able to realize that it's just a can of green beans. 

If your heart is governed by faith, hope and love, you will be able to look beyond what looks like poop and release the reality of truth through what you say and how you say it to others.