Rejoicing and mourning can and should go hand and hand...

My thoughts on rejoice and mourn...

In Romans 12:15, Paul challenges us to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep (mourn) with those who weep.”

Note that this is a complete sentence.  It says to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.  It doesn’t say Rejoice with those who rejoice. (Period)  Mourn with those who mourn. (Period)  Why did God put the two together in one sentence?

Life is filled with the extremes of joy and sorrow, victory and defeat. But we have been given the privilege of entering into those moments in people’s lives to see the grace of God at work.  If we rejoice only in our own victories, we miss the opportunity to celebrate the power of the Lord, who desires to accomplish His purposes in and through others as well. If we mourn only our own losses, we lose the opportunity to “be there” for those who are hurting by showing them compassion.

 

Through 30 years of waiting, there were many deaths.  The death of getting married in my 20s.  Death of having my own children in my 30s.  Death of celebrating milestones – birthday parties, graduations.  Death of celebrating holidays as a family with gifts under the tree.  Death of being an empty nester and having my own grandbabies in my 50s/60s. 

I went to many weddings, baby showers, graduation parties…  I didn’t avoid going to any of those events because they were too hard on me… and when I went, I didn’t go mourning over my loss.  Why, because I truly was able to rejoice with those that were rejoicing – don’t misunderstand me… I still had my loss however I was able to look beyond my loss to rejoice with others. 

 

The same has been true with mourning.  Although I am rejoicing in all that God has given me in Jeff, I am able to still join him in mourning his loss of Cindy.  I can share in his memories of her and desire to keep her legacy alive.  Why?  Because I can rejoice in God’s handiwork in bring us together and at the same time mourn the absence of a woman someone I dearly love, loved.  Why?  Because rejoicing and mourning can and should dance together.

 

During a memorial service (like Carl Stenger’s) you can move in a single moment, blend corporate worship with corporate mourning.  Even people who attend a service on behalf of someone else within the family, can grieve the loss without knowing the person directly.

 

Grieving is hard.  Walking with others who have had great loss can be painful and awkward.  As believers, we want to focus on eternal glory rather than the earthly sorrows around us.  Yes, it’s true that we do not grieve as those without hope, but we grieve all the same. Yes, joy comes in the morning, but the morning may not dawn for a while.

 

Psalm 30:5, 11

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime!  Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning…  You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.

What happened in the heart of David to say God has turned his mourning into dancing?  What happen to him to be able to say “you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness?”

Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

Jeremiah 31:13

Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance, and the young men and the old shall be merry.  I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.  For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.