The Heart of God is the blended family.

In recent years, the body of Christ has done a great job in teaching the gospel message of adoption and blended families including divorce and remarriage. Many churches have covered these topics from the pulpit and also offer classes on the adoption process, divorce support groups, widowhood support groups and how to integrate the blended family etc.

There is a key point missing while addressing these important issues. The heart of God, the heart of the gospel message is adoption and at the heart of adoption is the blended family. Yes, this has been covered but what hasn't been covered (from where I stand) is that the blended family includes stepparents. I have never heard a message from the pulpit or podcast that addresses the importance of accepting the stepparent into the family morphogenesis. Specifically with regards to adult children in blended families. In fact, we have had numerous couples share their heartbreak of not being received well and instead have demands and ultimatums.

When a family goes through the adoption process, many learn how to integrate the adopted child into the morphogenesis of their existing family. They learn how to deal with conflicts, celebrate differences, have open conversations that include empathy and understanding and provide a nurturing and bonding environment. If one child treats another child inappropriately corrective measures are implemented. We don't say to the child, "Oh, I understand... its ok." A healthy family would never treat the adopted child as second best. They would treat both the birth child and adopted child as equals. When a family struggles with this type of conflict for an extended period of time, counseling is suggested. Why? Because as a society, we know how unhealth that kind of behavior is and that it is not morally right. If this is true, then why do we allow those kinds of behavior to take place with blended families specifically with older children and stepparent?

We are all part of the blended family of God. All who have put their faith in Jesus Christ have been adopted into the family of God. All throughout scripture we see the heart of God in blended families. It is the gospel message. We have been adopted into the family of God. We are co-heirs with Jesus. Co-heirs! Everything that is Jesus' is now ours. We do not see Jesus being jealous nor does he keep us at arm's length. We do not hear God say, "Give Jesus time. It's hard on him." In fact, Jesus laid down his life so that we can be adopted into the family of God. He says, "Not my will but thy will be done." We see the heart of God in blended families with Peter and Cornelius. We see the heart of God in blended families with Ruth and Boaz. Boaz doesn't make Ruth continue to glean in his field but everything that was his becomes her and not just her but Niomi. The heart of God is for the foreign and outcast. It is for the widows and orphans. It is for the stepparent too. Why, because they are the outcast and foreigner too. The heart of God is adoption! The heart of God is the blended family!

Where is this message in the church today? Why are we not challenged to work out the gospel message within the blended family?

Just food for thought...

Hardheartedness

Scripture warns us, "Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion."

God talks a lot about hard hearts in scripture.  Where does a hard heart come from?  The answer lies in not listening and submitting to the voice of God.

How do we hear God's voice?  That's a question I've been asked a lot by people I've mentored.  The best way is to be in God's word, but He can also speak through prayer, meditation and godly counsel etc.

So how does one not hear God's voice in scripture?  It is possible to approach scripture routinely and let God's word roll off us like water off a duck's back.  God warns us against doing this.  It is extremely dangerous to hear scripture and walk away with little or no effect or impression on our life.  What causes this to happen?  My understanding is that there is a variety of reasons... resistance, pridefulness, authority issues just to name a few.

When we manifest any of those (I’ll pick a resistant attitude), it results in a hard heart. Nothing can penetrate the hardened husk of a heart that is unwilling to be corrected by scripture… unwillingness to submit… unwilling to receive and follow godly counsel… 

I was talking with a friend yesterday about individuals who profess to follow God but continue to live in sin. Why and how did they get there? 

Yes, we all have sin in our lives but it’s the attitude of resistance to scripture which leads to rationalizing our behaviors and effectively rendering God’s word impotent in our lives. The more we do this, we isolate ourselves from God. The more we isolate ourselves from God, calluses form on our hearts and leads us down the slippery road of strongholds. 

How’s your heart? Are you bitter? Resentful? Proud? Resistant? 

Humility is a spiritual discipline. So I have a few questions for you today. Who do you have in your life that will tell you the truth and can prune you for your spiritual good? This is not someone who sides with you and tells you what you want to hear but instead tells you what you need to hear. How do you feel about humility? Are there people in your inner circle you admire that can be described as being humble? If not, why? Do people use that word to describe you? Are you willing to remain receptive to the invitation to humble yourself to scripture and to godly counsel? Are you willing to submit to the authority of scripture and be transformed by God’s word? 

Just something to ponder…