Two Years and Two Months...

Two years and two months… So many things have happen and yet so many things have stayed the same.

I am a changed person because of the loss of my mom… and yet I feel the same as I did two years ago. I hate that time keeps ticking by.  The first New Year's Eve without my mom was difficult.  As we counted down the seconds to bring in the New Year, I had a rush of emotions.  I did not want to enter a year without her in it. Up until she entered heaven, I never knew a day without her in it. It truly is a huge loss for me... I think of my mom every single day and I deeply miss our daily talks. Oh how I wish I could have one more moment with her.

But change is a part of life and my longings for my mom only makes me long for God and heaven even more. How much more must God long for us!


I am so glad my mom and I were more than just a mother and daughter.  We talked almost every day and even skyped each other when she lived in the Philippines.  I could share with her anything - all of my life challenges and struggles but like a typical daughter, I even caused her some pain as well.  We did several Beth Moore bible studies together and she was my biggest prayer warrior.  We were friends and I truly feel blessed beyond all measure that God gave me her. I still want to pick up the phone to call her and I still get that pain in my heart when I realize she won’t be on the other end of the line. I have so many things to be thankful for. Our 45 minute “goodbye” talk still lives on inside of me. I am thankful that she was able to share her heart, her wisdom and her guidance with me. I will take that conversation plus the thousands of other ones with me for the rest of my life. I am so thankful for the godly example of a wife, mother and friend. I am constantly reminded of her faithfulness and thank God for the great example of strong and abiding faith in the One who held her life in the palm of His hand.

I had a beautiful encounter a few weeks back of mist rising off Pinewood Lake.  (The photo attached is not the actual situation...) The mist was in little pockets all over the lake. As I watched, the wind blew and the little pockets of mist moved rapidly in one direction. In that split moment of time, God gave me two verses. The first was James 4:14 “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” As I watched those pockets of mist quickly move with the wind, I thought “There goes my mom… There goes Kim… And Aunt Maggie, Aunt Annie, Aunt Nancy and all the others that have gone before me. The second verse that came to mind was Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” I truly am surrounded by a GREAT cloud of witnesses.

Those longings for my mom only makes me long for God and heaven even more. Romans 8:24-25 "For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” My hope grows more and more as each day passes. I long for heaven. I long for my bridegroom. I truly long for what I do not yet have. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

My hope grows more and more as I learn to patiently wait for what I do not yet have.

My dad just sent me the photo of my mom and in so many ways I love it because the photo does not show her beautiful face. My mom has gone ahead of me and her face now shines in the light of His Glory.

Mom - I miss you. I love you. Until I see you again…

The Tongue

Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

We all use words to communicate. Some of us love to use words. I know I do! But what words are we using and what power do they have on the people around us? Every day we choose to either give life or cause death in those around us.

Give life… We can use words to give others hope. We can use words to give others joy. We can use words to encourage, build up, and empower. We can use words to tell others how much we love them. We can use words to tell others we accept them, admire them, respect them and forgive them.

Cause death… Our world is filled with words of death, bitterness, hatred, greed, envy and lust. We all use words to communicate and don’t we all also use the lack of words to communicate too? How often does the lack of words causes death in those around us?

Let’s choose life!

John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

James 3: 9-12 “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”

Matt 12:36 “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.”

Glory

When I am gone, remember I'm with Jesus,
Then do not mourn because I have passed away.
Life holds many griefs and disappointments,
And will you cry because I did not stay?
Tis only for a spell we must be parted;
Not many years on earth to us are given.
And when my Savior tells me you are coming,
I'll go with Him and welcome you to Heaven.
Grieve not because the eyes that looked upon you
Shall never see your face on earth again;
Rejoice, because they look upon the Savior
Who gave His life to random sinful men.
Weep not because I walk no longer with you;
Remember, I am walking streets of gold.
Weep for yourselves that you awhile must tarry,
Before the blessed Lord you may behold.
O how blessed is the promise
When our spirit is set free;
To be absent from the boby Means to live,
O Lord, with Thee.
Christ has taken the dark door of death and
replaced it with the shining gate of life!

New Beginnings in 2012!

New Beginnings - As I look forward to a new year, I think of new beginnings. When I think of new beginnings, I think of fresh starts, clean slates, new chapters and of course God’s grace. But it is also important to look back as well. Not to dwell on the past but to learn from it and see God in the midst of it all. When I look back on 2011, I think of God’s faithfulness through a very turbulent year for me and how He has carried me through difficult situations.

Duet 1:31 says “In the desert, there you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.”

When I think of this verse it makes me want to cry because God has carried me this last year in His strong and faithful arms and He has carried me to this new place in life.

Only God knows what this new place (2012) has in store for me. Only God knows how the path will twist and turn, climb and descend. I do not have control over the future and as I look ahead to 2012, I make no mistake in thinking I do. On this second day of January, I pray God will provide me with a clean slate, a fresh start and grant me His favor in 2012. May He grant me His favor in health, His favor at work, His favor with family and friends, and above all else I pray for favor in intimacy with Him for...

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

As I look forward to a new year, I am excited to see what God has in store for my future. God has been faithful, and he will continue to be faithful.

Lord, I want an abundance of Your Holy Spirit this year. Show me your Glory in new ways. Please go before me this year and leave the fragrance of Your Glory very presence in Your wake! Have favor on me and met my needs as only you can.

“You crown the year with your good blessings, and you leave abundance in your wake.” Ps 65:11